Friday, March 9, 2007

DUH?

Instructions 
 
In Honor of Stupid People . . . 
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through 
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. 

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.  
   (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.) 
  
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details  inside. 
   (the shoplifter special?) 
    
On a bar of Dial soap --   "Directions: Use like regular soap." 
   (and that would be???....) 
  
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." 
   (but, it's just a suggestion.) 
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." 
   (well...duh, a bit late, huh!) 
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after >heating." 
    (...and you thought????...) 
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." 
    (but wouldn't this save me time?) 
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." 
   (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we >could 
    just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.) 
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." 
    (...I'm taking this because???....) 
 
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." 
    (as opposed to what?) 
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." 
   (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) 
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." 
    (talk about a news flash) 
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." 
   (Step 3: say what?) 
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." 
   (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) 
On a Swedish Chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." 
   (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) 
 

No comments: