A Family Thing

 

Bobbitt Family Update In a recent Channel 4 news broadcast, it was announced that Lorena Bobbitt's sister Louella was arrested for an alleged attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago. Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena. She allegedly missed the target and stabbed herhusband in the upper thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is reported to be in serious, but stable condition, and Louella has been charged with ...     A Misdewiener!

 

 

 

INHERITANCE

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly 
father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. 
 
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most 
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath 
away. 
 
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, 
"but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." 
 
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days 
later, she became his stepmother. 
 
Women are so much smarter than men.

Two Nuns

 There were two nuns... 
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. 
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. 
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. 
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? 
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. 
SM: It's not working. 
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. 
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. 
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. 
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. 
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical. 
Then Sister Logical arrives. 
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! 
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me 
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? 
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. 
SM: And? 
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. 
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?! 
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. 
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? 
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. 
SM: Oh, no! What happened then? 
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? 
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.